DDDDD IIIII SSSS ''' ''' ''' DDDDD A TTTTT
D D I S S ''' ''' n ''' D D A A T
D D I S ' ' nnnnnn ' D D A A T
D D I SSSS ' ' n n ' D D A A T
D D I S n n D D AAAAAAA T
D D I S S n n D D A A T
DDDDD IIIII SSSS n n DDDDD A A T
"All Disney news fitted to print"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Volume 2 Number 3 March 94 Edition
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
.B "FDC Music: A Travesty in Song"
In this issue...
Sung to the tune of "Arabian Nights" from Disney's _ALADDIN_, music by
Alan Menken, lyrics by Howard Ashman
written by Amberle Ferrian <amberle@epx.cis.umn.edu>
Over two years ago, a new Disney park was opened.
This park has that
"jene
which has made it the source of material for numerous jokes, some of
them published in DIS' 'n' DAT.
To avoid the appearance of shooting fish in a barrel, DIS' 'n' DAT has toned
down its coverage of Euro Disney in the past couple of months.
Unfortunately, this has only created a tremendous backlog of song parodies
at the DIS' 'n' DAT editorial desk.
We've decided that we have waited long enough, and we now present an
article by our new contributing editor.
With all the financial ills facing EuroDisney now, you might imagine
the narrator of ALADDIN to be singing a different tune had he
introduced this theme park instead of the movie...
As a public service, DIS' 'n' DAT has decided to put the entire session to
music, using the tune from an academy award-winning song from the
renowned _Song of the South_:
Copyright (c) 1994 Amberle Ferrian. Permission is hereby granted to
distribute this parody freely for nonprofit use, so long as this
copyright notice is present and credit is given to the author of this
work.
You've probably all heard about the Tonya Harding-Nancy Kerrigan
soap-opera-on-skates by now.
Now, with a Disney/Kerrigan deal in the works, we are no doubt going
to be hearing a lot more on this as it is rehashed in made-for-TV
movies, best-sellers, video games, and whatever else.
Ever to put in our own two cents' worth, you can trust DIS' 'n' DAT's highly
skilled and professional staff to come up with our own version of this
story with our usual trademark Disney twist...
We at DIS' 'n' DAT have decided to put Robin's sentiments into a song, and we
decided that the best person to make his point was the sultry co-star
of the hit movie _Who Framed Roger Rabbit_... Jessica Rabbit.
Recently, I had a discussion with somebody and the subject of the
"Hidden Mikey" contest came up.
When asked to explain the contest, I found that the explanation
sounded like something out of Lewis Carroll.
Realizing that this is an all song parody issue, we at DIS' 'n' DAT have
decided to present the "Find the Hidden Mikey" contest as a song
parody from when Alice meets the flowers in _Alice in Wonderland_.
Please note that the contest is for real, and you can get your name
printed in this newsletter (admittedly, a dubious achievement) if you
are among the winners selected.
So... keep the entries coming in!
Entries should be sent electronically to lar3ry@world.std.com.
Contest winners will be selected by an impartial judge (your humble
editor), and winning entries will appear in a future issue of DIS' 'n' DAT.
Entries will be judged on originality, neatness, cleverness, and
phases of the moon.
Bribes, while not officially sanctioned, will be considered.
Contest void where prohibited by law.
All incidents, situations, and events depicted or described in
DIS' 'n' DAT are fictional, and any semblance to real
life is really, you know, coincidental.
People wishing to contribute to DIS' 'n' DAT should send
email to the publication at the internet address below. Please state
explicitly if you wish to retain copyright or anonymity for any
material submitted.
Parisian Fright
Copyright (c) 1994 Amberle Ferrian. Permission is hereby granted to
distribute this parody freely for nonprofit use, so long as this
copyright notice is present and credit is given to the author of this
work.
There's a park that they built, out in faraway France
That has lost near a billion bucks
And they say it's so great
With that same song-and-dance
But attendance, you know, it sucks
They've got one in the East
And a park in the West
Where they man-age to do things right
Write it off
It'll die
There's no reason to try
This colossal Parisian fright
Parisian fright!
The Parisians say,
"They built their hotels
That's all fine and well
But there's no one who'd stay."
Parisian fright!
That Parisians shun
No reason to pay
A fortune a day
It's not that much fun
A Sugar Coated Tribute
For the Euro-Disney lover in you... we present a
tribute to this wonderful park from a sugary-sweet song from the
venerable movie, _Mary Poppins_:
In ev'ry theme park Disney starts
There's fun for old and young at hearts.
We travel there and POOF!
A real good time.
In An-a-heim and Flor-i-da --
And now Vir-gin-i-a --
It's Fun! A Spree!
It's diff'rent, then, to see...
That a theme park near Paris
Makes the revenues go down!
The revenues go down-own...
The revenues go down.
Just a theme park near Paris
Makes the revenues go down!
In the most expensive way.
The comp'ny's lost money, you know,
By backing _Super Mario_,
And _Cabin Boy_'s performance disappoints.
But on the av-er-age they sold
And though the movies aren't bold
There's still... a pall...
That biggest flop of all...
Of a theme park near Paris
Where the revenues go down!
The revenues go down-own...
The revenues go down
Yes! A theme park near Paris
Makes the revenues go down...
In the most expensive way.
As day guests we're asked to cough up
More than sixty bucks a day.
They hope we'll throw good money after bad.
But even with their Chardonnay,
They'll find we're staying home today...
It's all... (it's all...) too late... (too late...)
It's sad we have to state...
Put a theme park near Paris
And watch the revenues go down!
The revenues go down-own...
The revenues go down.
For a theme park near Paris
Makes the revenues go down...
In the most expensive way.
Disney Stockholders' Meeting Q & A Session
Let's face it, readers.
The Disney annual stockholders' meeting, for all its multi-media
presentations and its splashy tone, uses the same old "raise your hand
if you have any questions" for it's stockholder Question and Answer
session.
With all the glitz and glamour that they can summon up, it's a shame
that such an important part of the meeting is presented in such a dull
and drab manner.
(Stockholder)
Mr. Mike Eisner
Mr. Mike E. -
How, oh, how will you save Euro Disney?
All of the bankers want guarantees.
Mr. Mike Eisner
What do you see?
(Disney CEO Michael Eisner, waving American Flag)
I tell the bankers on my case now:
"We'll close the park! No Dealing!
Send your 'conomies a-reeling!
You got what you got, now,
Euro Disney.
Send us more money...
Or just wait and see!
[Spoken: Next question?]
(Stockholder)
Mr. Mike Eisner
Mr. Mike E. -
Can you explain the NHL team to me?
They are not winning,
No endorcements or fees...
Mr. Mike Eisner
Is this just a spree?
(Disney CEO Michael Eisner, wearing a Mighty Ducks sweatshirt)
On the whole, they're real sweet guys now.
Want a team with action?
Let's put the other teams in traction.
Here is my deal, sir,
my own guarantee...
We'll win in a season,
or two or three!
[Spoken: One last question... you there, with the party hat...]
(Stockholder, wearing "I'm only here for the beer" T shirt)
Mr. Mike Eisner
Mr. Mike E. -
Share benefits were taken rudely from me!
I once had a discount,
Sometimes got in for free...
Mr. Mike Eisner
There's others like me.
(Disney CEO Michael Eisner, played by Scrooge McDuck)
You're just parasites to the comp'ny.
You bought your stocks, be happy!
We'll send an MKC that's crappy.
Mr. Big Spender -
One more thing I'll say,
THERE'LL BE NO MORE DISCOUNTS!
Thank you.
Good day.
Nancy Says
written by Amberle Ferrian <amberle@epx.cis.umn.edu>
sung to the tune of "Beauty and the Beast" from Disney's BEAUTY AND
THE BEAST, music by Alan Menken, lyrics by Howard Ashman
Hit men Stant and Smith
Mug-ging for a fee
Swung the pipe and then
Down goes Kerrigan
Unexpectedly
Just a little strange
Dumb as they can be
Bragging to the wind
That they did her in.
Nancy says, "Why me?"
Tonya tried to lie
Tonya tried to scream
Tonya went to fight
Su-ing left and right
Finally made the team
Hit men Stant and Smith
Working with her ex
Broke up time again
Finally turned her in
When he did confess
Certain come the deals
Lucrative to see
Movies and TV
Ce-re-al Wheaties
Nancy says, "That's me!"
But the hit men's sin
Means she can't cash in
Tonya says, "Why me?"
Robin Boy's Side
The voice of the Genie in Disney's $200 million _Aladdin_ is a bit
miffed at the Disney company and with Burger King (Miami, FL).
He claims that his voice was used for merchandising purposes, which
was strictly against his wishes.
Of course, money has nothing to do with this; it's simply the
principle of the thing.
Robin was last seen wearing a shirt that read "Disney made $200
million on _Aladdin_ and they didn't even give me this crummy
T-shirt."
You gave me some money a year or two ago,
And now I'm complaining on the _Today Show_.
Why don't you do right,
Like some studios do?
Send a Picasso...
Send me some money, too.
I don't care if I have a contract with you guys,
I'm so fed up, I'm telling people all these lies.
Why don't you do right,
Like other studios do?
I'd be so happy...
And do commericals, too.
Why don't you do right?
Send me $10 million..... too.
Find the Hidden Mikey
Due to circumstances beyond our control, the Hidden Mikey contest
failed to appear in last month's issue, but we wish to let everybody
know that it is still running.
We have already, in our first two months, achieved two-thirds of the
response we received in last year's Hidden Mickey contest.
Way to go readers!
A Hidden Mikey lines the stairs in the castle
When the sun hits at the stroke of noon.
You can find him in the logs at Splash Mountain
But you better find it soon (oh yes, you should)
There's a Mikey in the street scene in _Aladdin_;
In _Mermaid_'s grotto you will find one, too.
In the forest when Belle runs from the castle...
Another Mikey's found, 'tis true (Mikey's found 'tis true-ue-ue).
Every ride and all attractions
Every movie that they did -
After he became the C.E.O...
His image...
they have...
hid...
At EPCOT he's in the Mexican Cantina,
In the Maelstrom, and in Living Seas.
You can find a hidden Michael Eisner
Al-most any-where you please... (you please...)
In the Studios he's in the Movie Tour
And in the Sci-Fi Drive-In, too...
And when you find the hidden Michael Eisners...
Send your sight-ings to us for review!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
DIS' 'n' DAT is published semi-regularly by Larry Gensch.
Nothing may be reprinted in whoe or in part without attribution to
DIS' 'n' DAT.