DDDDD IIIII SSSS ''' ''' ''' DDDDD A TTTTT D D I S S ''' ''' n ''' D D A A T D D I S ' ' nnnnnn ' D D A A T D D I SSSS ' ' n n ' D D A A T D D I S n n D D AAAAAAA T D D I S S n n D D A A T DDDDD IIIII SSSS n n DDDDD A A T "All Disney news fitted to print" __________________________________________________________________________ Volume 2 Number 3 March 94 Edition __________________________________________________________________________ FDC Music: A Travesty in Song In this issue... o Parisian Fright o A Sugar Coated Tribute o Disney Stockholders' Meeting Q & A Session o Nancy Says "Why Me?" o Robin Boy's Side o Find the Hidden Mikey __________________________________________________________________________ Parisian Fright by Amberle Ferrian __________________________________________________________________________ Copyright (c) 1994 Amberle Ferrian. Permission is hereby granted to dis- tribute this parody freely for nonprofit use, so long as this copyright notice is present and credit is given to the author of this work. Sung to the tune of "Arabian Nights" from Disney's _ALADDIN_, music by Alan Menken, lyrics by Howard Ashman written by Amberle Ferrian Over two years ago, a new Disney park was opened. This park has that je ne sais quoi which has made it the source of material for numerous jokes, some of them published in DIS' 'n' DAT. To avoid the appearance of shooting fish in a barrel, DIS' 'n' DAT has toned down its coverage of Euro Disney in the past couple of months. Unfortunately, this has only created a tremendous backlog of song parodies at the DIS' 'n' DAT editorial desk. We've decided that we have waited long enough, and we now present an article by our new contributing editor. March 94 DIS' 'n' DAT Page 2 With all the financial ills facing EuroDisney now, you might imagine the narrator of ALADDIN to be singing a different tune had he introduced this theme park instead of the movie... There's a park that they built, out in faraway France That has lost near a billion bucks And they say it's so great With that same song-and-dance But attendance, you know, it sucks They've got one in the East And a park in the West Where they man-age to do things right Write it off It'll die There's no reason to try This colossal Parisian fright Parisian fright! The Parisians say, "They built their hotels That's all fine and well But there's no one who'd stay." Parisian fright! That Parisians shun No reason to pay A fortune a day It's not that much fun __________________________________________________________________________ A Sugar Coated Tribute by lar3ry gensch and Amberle Ferrian __________________________________________________________________________ For the Euro-Disney lover in you... we present a tribute to this won- derful park from a sugary-sweet song from the venerable movie, _Mary Pop- pins_: In ev'ry theme park Disney starts There's fun for old and young at hearts. We travel there and POOF! A real good time. In An-a-heim and Flor-i-da -- And now Vir-gin-i-a -- It's Fun! A Spree! It's diff'rent, then, to see... That a theme park near Paris Makes the revenues go down! The revenues go down-own... The revenues go down. Just a theme park near Paris Makes the revenues go down! In the most expensive way. March 94 DIS' 'n' DAT Page 3 The comp'ny's lost money, you know, By backing _Super Mario_, And _Cabin Boy_'s performance disappoints. But on the av-er-age they sold And though the movies aren't bold There's still... a pall... That biggest flop of all... Of a theme park near Paris Where the revenues go down! The revenues go down-own... The revenues go down Yes! A theme park near Paris Makes the revenues go down... In the most expensive way. As day guests we're asked to cough up More than sixty bucks a day. They hope we'll throw good money after bad. But even with their Chardonnay, They'll find we're staying home today... It's all... (it's all...) too late... (too late...) It's sad we have to state... Put a theme park near Paris And watch the revenues go down! The revenues go down-own... The revenues go down. For a theme park near Paris Makes the revenues go down... In the most expensive way. __________________________________________________________________________ Disney Stockholders' Meeting Q & A Session __________________________________________________________________________ Let's face it, readers. The Disney annual stockholders' meeting, for all its multi-media presentations and its splashy tone, uses the same old "raise your hand if you have any questions" for it's stockholder Question and Answer session. With all the glitz and glamour that they can summon up, it's a shame that such an important part of the meeting is presented in such a dull and drab manner. As a public service, DIS' 'n' DAT has decided to put the entire ses- sion to music, using the tune from an academy award-winning song from the renowned _Song of the South_: (Stockholder) Mr. Mike Eisner Mr. Mike E. - How, oh, how will you save Euro Disney? All of the bankers want guarantees. Mr. Mike Eisner What do you see? March 94 DIS' 'n' DAT Page 4 (Disney CEO Michael Eisner, waving American Flag) I tell the bankers on my case now: "We'll close the park! No Dealing! Send your 'conomies a-reeling! You got what you got, now, Euro Disney. Send us more money... Or just wait and see! [Spoken: Next question?] (Stockholder) Mr. Mike Eisner Mr. Mike E. - Can you explain the NHL team to me? They are not winning, No endorcements or fees... Mr. Mike Eisner Is this just a spree? (Disney CEO Michael Eisner, wearing a Mighty Ducks sweatshirt) On the whole, they're real sweet guys now. Want a team with action? Let's put the other teams in traction. Here is my deal, sir, my own guarantee... We'll win in a season, or two or three! [Spoken: One last question... you there, with the party hat...] (Stockholder, wearing "I'm only here for the beer" T shirt) Mr. Mike Eisner Mr. Mike E. - Share benefits were taken rudely from me! I once had a discount, Sometimes got in for free... Mr. Mike Eisner There's others like me. (Disney CEO Michael Eisner, played by Scrooge McDuck) You're just parasites to the comp'ny. You bought your stocks, be happy! We'll send an MKC that's crappy. Mr. Big Spender - One more thing I'll say, THERE'LL BE NO MORE DISCOUNTS! Thank you. Good day. March 94 DIS' 'n' DAT Page 5 __________________________________________________________________________ Nancy Says "Why Me?" by Amberle Ferrian __________________________________________________________________________ written by Amberle Ferrian sung to the tune of "Beauty and the Beast" from Disney's BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, music by Alan Menken, lyrics by Howard Ashman Copyright (c) 1994 Amberle Ferrian. Permission is hereby granted to dis- tribute this parody freely for nonprofit use, so long as this copyright notice is present and credit is given to the author of this work. You've probably all heard about the Tonya Harding-Nancy Kerrigan soap-opera-on-skates by now. Now, with a Disney/Kerrigan deal in the works, we are no doubt going to be hearing a lot more on this as it is rehashed in made-for-TV movies, best-sellers, video games, and whatever else. Ever to put in our own two cents' worth, you can trust DIS' 'n' DAT's highly skilled and professional staff to come up with our own version of this story with our usual trademark Disney twist... Hit men Stant and Smith Mug-ging for a fee Swung the pipe and then Down goes Kerrigan Unexpectedly Just a little strange Dumb as they can be Bragging to the wind That they did her in. Nancy says, "Why me?" Tonya tried to lie Tonya tried to scream Tonya went to fight Su-ing left and right Finally made the team Hit men Stant and Smith Working with her ex Broke up time again Finally turned her in When he did confess Certain come the deals Lucrative to see Movies and TV Ce-re-al Wheaties Nancy says, "That's me!" But the hit men's sin Means she can't cash in Tonya says, "Why me?" March 94 DIS' 'n' DAT Page 6 __________________________________________________________________________ Robin Boy's Side __________________________________________________________________________ The voice of the Genie in Disney's $200 million _Aladdin_ is a bit miffed at the Disney company and with Burger King (Miami, FL). He claims that his voice was used for merchandising purposes, which was strictly against his wishes. Of course, money has nothing to do with this; it's simply the principle of the thing. Robin was last seen wearing a shirt that read "Disney made $200 million on _Aladdin_ and they didn't even give me this crummy T-shirt." We at DIS' 'n' DAT have decided to put Robin's sentiments into a song, and we decided that the best person to make his point was the sultry co-star of the hit movie _Who Framed Roger Rabbit_... Jessica Rabbit. You gave me some money a year or two ago, And now I'm complaining on the _Today Show_. Why don't you do right, Like some studios do? Send a Picasso... Send me some money, too. I don't care if I have a contract with you guys, I'm so fed up, I'm telling people all these lies. Why don't you do right, Like other studios do? I'd be so happy... And do commericals, too. Why don't you do right? Send me $10 million..... too. __________________________________________________________________________ Find the Hidden Mikey __________________________________________________________________________ Due to circumstances beyond our control, the Hidden Mikey contest failed to appear in last month's issue, but we wish to let everybody know that it is still running. We have already, in our first two months, achieved two-thirds of the response we received in last year's Hidden Mickey contest. Way to go readers! Recently, I had a discussion with somebody and the subject of the "Hidden Mikey" contest came up. When asked to explain the contest, I found that the explanation sounded like something out of Lewis Carroll. Realizing that this is an all song parody issue, we at DIS' 'n' DAT have decided to present the "Find the Hidden Mikey" contest as a song parody from when Alice meets the flowers in _Alice in Wonderland_. A Hidden Mikey lines the stairs in the castle When the sun hits at the stroke of noon. You can find him in the logs at Splash Mountain But you better find it soon (oh yes, you should) March 94 DIS' 'n' DAT Page 7 There's a Mikey in the street scene in _Aladdin_; In _Mermaid_'s grotto you will find one, too. In the forest when Belle runs from the castle... Another Mikey's found, 'tis true (Mikey's found 'tis true-ue-ue). Every ride and all attractions Every movie that they did - After he became the C.E.O... His image... they have... hid... At EPCOT he's in the Mexican Cantina, In the Maelstrom, and in Living Seas. You can find a hidden Michael Eisner Al-most any-where you please... (you please...) In the Studios he's in the Movie Tour And in the Sci-Fi Drive-In, too... And when you find the hidden Michael Eisners... Send your sight-ings to us for review! Please note that the contest is for real, and you can get your name printed in this newsletter (admittedly, a dubious achievement) if you are among the winners selected. So... keep the entries coming in! Entries should be sent electronically to lar3ry@world.std.com. Con- test winners will be selected by an impartial judge (your humble editor), and winning entries will appear in a future issue of DIS' 'n' DAT. Entries will be judged on originality, neatness, cleverness, and phases of the moon. Bribes, while not officially sanctioned, will be considered. Contest void where prohibited by law. __________________________________________________________________________ DIS' 'n' DAT is an on-line newsletter published semi-regularly by Larry Gensch. Nothing may be reprinted in whole or in part without attri- bution to DIS' 'n' DAT. All incidents, situations, and events depicted or described in DIS' 'n' DAT are fictional, and any semblance to real life is really, you know, coincidental. People wishing to contribute to DIS' 'n' DAT should send email to the publication at the internet address "lar3ry@world.std.com." Please state explicitly if you wish to retain copyright or anonymity for any material submitted. AVAILABILITY DIS' 'n' DAT is posted to the Usenet newsgroup rec.arts.disney usu- ally a day or two prior to the calendar month of the issue date. Two mailing lists are also maintained for this newsletter. If you wish to be placed on one of them, please send email to "lar3ry@world.std.com" and state that you wish to receive either the ASCII version or the PostScript version. March 94 DIS' 'n' DAT Page 8 The following ftp archives contain back issues of DIS' 'n' DAT: 1. ftp.wang.com:/pub/lar3ry/* 2. yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au:/pub/rec.arts.disney/creative/dnd/* 3. cco.caltech.edu:/pub/rec.arts.disney/creative/dnd/* Note that "cco" mirror's most of the "yoyo" site; users in North America should use this site instead of the "yoyo" archive. If you have an ftp site or Bulletin Board System that wishes to allow anonymous users to retrieve past issues (via ftp, mail server, or down- loading) please send email with information to me at lar3ry@world.std.com. NEXT MONTH'S ISSUE Do you think that you have what it takes to write song parodies? I'd like to see some readers' ideas on any of the Disney theme parks and put them into the tune of "Heigh Ho!" from Snow White. An example verse is shown below: Heigh Ho! Heigh Ho! To Future World we go... You'll scream "No More!" "My feet are sore!" Heigh Ho! Heigh Ho! If you would like to see your name in the First Anniversary issue of DIS' 'n' DAT, send your verses to the editor at lar3ry@world.std.com. Deadline for submissions is 15-Mar-1994. March 94