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"All Disney news fitted to print"
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Volume 2 Number 8 August 94 Edition
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In this issue...
In this column, DIS' 'n' DAT gives some more members of the FDC the
opportunity to tell the readership of this newsletter just who they
are and how they came to
.Rd
in the first place.
Their responses, slightly edited, follow:
Disney has only two things better than its vaunted Feature Animation
department.
The first is its marketing division, which has done an unbelievable
job advertising and selling its products, particularly the new film,
_The Lion King_.
Too good, in fact.
And to celebrate the hype created by Disney marketing, we present one
of the hyped songs themselves, but with new packaging...
The other thing better than Disney's Feature Animation department, of
course, is their legal staff.
This little ditty is dedicated to their ceaseless and tireless efforts
in preserving one of America's greatest traditions.
No, not the Disney Company itself, but rather something the Mouse
likes to do...
One of our Disney Inciters (Deep Yoo! Hoo!), has presented us a list
of excuses that were to be used to explain away the movie had it
flopped.
Without further ado, from the home office of "I'll Sue" City,
DIS' 'n' DAT presents:
FDC Column
The FDC is a group of people on
.Rd
that have dreams of working for
the Disney company in some capacity or another.
The FDC was founded to allow such people an opportunity to pretend
that they work for the company that gave us Roger Rabbit, Splash
Mountain, and Euro Disney.
In recent months, most FDC applicants are character walk-arounds, an
FDC occupation started by DIS' 'n' DAT's own contributing editor.
These walk-arounds assume the role of their character quite literally
in correspondence on
.Rd .
Can You Feel the Hype Tonight?
Sung to the tune of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" from _THE
LION KING_, music by Elton John, lyrics by Tim Rice
Copyright (c) 1994 Amberle Ferrian. Permission is hereby granted to
distribute this parody freely for nonprofit use, so long as this
copyright notice is present and credit is given to the author of this
work.
Can't you see what's happ'ning
With "Lion King" of late
The mar-ket-ing people have guar-an-teed
Our pocket-books they rape
The sweet caress of profits
'cause Simba's everywhere
And if you don't pur-chase-him for your kids
They'll cry, tear out your hair!
Can you feel the hype tonight?
Cre-at-ed for that flick
The Disney way, it's to-tal overkill
And really makes you sick
So many ways to push it
On tapes and sing-a-longs
And on the ra-di-o, there's Elton John -
He's ev'ry other song!
They think the tunes are catchy
"Hak-u-ta Ma-ta-ta"
It means, "no worries" - up un-til the day
The Oscars vote them, "blah!"
Can you feel the hype tonight?
Cre-at-ed for that flick
The Disney way, it's to-tal overkill
And really makes you sick
Can you feel the hype tonight?
You needn't look too fine
Disney claims this film's its greatest one
Hype will make it shine
And if you think it's bad to-day
You can rest assured
That when the vi-d-eo hits marketplace
Its hype will be absurd!
Can you feel the hype tonight?
Cre-at-ed for that flick
The Disney way, it's to-tal overkill
And really makes you sick
Ode to the Disney Legal Department
Sung to the tune of "Heigh Ho," from _SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN
DWARFS_, music by Frank Churchill, lyrics by Larry Morey.
Copyright (c) 1994 Amberle Ferrian.
Permission is hereby granted to distribute the parody freely for
nonprofit use, so long as this copyright notice is present and credit
is given to the author of this work.
They sue sue sue sue sue sue sue
in the courts the whole day through
To sue sue sue sue sue sue sue
is what the Disney lawyers do
And when they sue they can be cruel
Like when they sued that-lit-tle day care school!
Mickey Mouse! Mickey Mouse!
Don't you paint him on that house!
Oh no! Oh no!
It's off to court you go!
You're now too late!
They'll litigate!
Oh no! Oh no, oh no!
Oh no! Oh no!
There's no case high or low
For Disney's taste
It's you they'll waste
Oh no! Oh no, oh no, oh no!
They sue sue sue sue sue sue sue,
'cause it's "trade-mark in-fringe-ment!"
They sue sue sue sue sue sue sue -
they never seem to quit
But when it's their turn, they won't show
That Kimba came thirty years a-go!
They are glad! They are glad!
That Te-zu-ka is-n't mad!
Oh no! Oh no!
The Disney lawyer show
(Whistle)
Oh no, oh no, oh no!
Oh no, oh no!
Let's hope DIS' 'n' DAT won't go!
(Whistle)
Oh no! Oh no, oh no, oh no! Oh no!
Top Ten Excuses To Be Used Had _The Lion King_ Flopped
Despite all the hype surrounding the release of _The Lion King_,
it seems that there were people in the studio that didn't think that
the animated feature would do all that well.
If this happened, these people would have had to answer to Sparky to
explain exactly why it didn't do well.